::


 i still smell like campfire
in my hair and my coat and on my skin
i am breathing
barely.
today. slowly. my head in a dusty haze. in a swimming mist.

i am softly. quietly.

last night a long time old family friend..........
[i must admit i do not like the phrase past away. i prefer to say that someone died. i am again going through thoughts in my head about how our society doesn't deal with death and dying in an easy way] .............. is gone.

we saw him at the hospital.
we spoke to him
about the chana we had made - he told me to put in those big black cardamom pods - 
about the yellow breasted robin visiting our house that morning
about the pitta bird who had broken a forest snail shell on a rock outside his bedroom window the last time he was home

he laughed and joked
he held tightly onto the palm leaves we had brought

he said 

'it's not that hard'
ellie1 Comment