happy birthday baby boy - 25 October

Well, my Darling, now you are three. You are 97cm tall. You weigh 14.6kgs. I love that this is a reference for something for you :: you use it when we play shops - icecreams cost 14 point six, and the books you set up and sell cost 14 point six. When you measure things with your tapemeasure they are generally 14.6, sometimes you just say things are centmeet.

Every single day I see you growing bigger, learning and discovering more. I can hardly keep up with you. I don't quite feel like I know enough to keep up with you. All day you ask me what things are, what words mean, why this, why that. Both Sam and I try the best we can to explain things to you, we tell you how things are, and don't make words up or use baby-talk. (You know all about Mummy's period :: and have told a few people too!).

Lately you have been singing and dancing a lot. You remember words of songs and stories really easily. Last week everywhere you went you sang "Wobble your Knees" and walked around shaking and knocking your knees. And you pick up and recite stories really well, already you know words from your new birthday books. Though you are still convinced that you can't read.

I'm sorry, Honey Bear, but we lost Bunny again a few weeks ago. This time, he has not come home. Yet, it seems to be a good time - if ever there really was. Bunny had become a wonderful friend for you, you called him such, so I wanted you to be able to have him always. You didn't need him, or rely on him for comfort so much anymore. You have taken the loss so well. Occasionally you have asked for Bunny, but have understood and almost accepted when we've told you that he's gone somewhere else. On the first day when I really explained his loss, you had a big cuddle and quiet-time. You also said that you didn't want Mishi, you wanted Bunny.

About Mishi :: you do love her. Last week you finally gave her a kiss goodnight, and when we were lying down for sleeping you were stroking her hair so softly. She looks to you, loving playing with you and following you - just the way you do with Ash (and the way Sylve did with me when we were kids!). I know right now it's hard for you, not wanting someone competing with the attention and time from your Mummy and Daddy. Soon, I know, Mishi will be a great friend for you.

I love spending time with you. Drawing, talking, walking, cooking, reading, playing cafes or shops, or building lego or mobilo, or painting. You are an excellent cook, measuring things out and cracking the eggs, turning the mixer on and off, pouring batter into muffin or cake tins. Last weekend you and Daddy made sushi for dinner, you stood up on your stool, helping, and eating seaweed.

We all still sleep in one big bed together. Mish's cot is joined to our bed on one side, and your little bed on the other side. I love having my whole family in one big bed. You wake up in the morning, happy for the day, you ask me "how was your sleeping Ellie?".

You are still my little baby. Sometimes I look at you, and remember you as a baby. My tiny little boy. Your face is growing leaner, and your body skinnier and taller. You have the same body shape as your Dad. I see a boy, a baby. My boy, my baby.

Giggle, laugh, learn, grow, experience, feel, see, hear, show, listen, tell, help, know. You show me how to do all this and so much more every day. Thank you, Honey Bear. xxx