my heart wanders :: wonders
The other afternoon we all went for a little walk together. The kids had had a late afternoon nap, and we needed to tire them out. Mainly we wanted to have an explore and wander as a family. It seems often we don't get the time, or make the time, to just do simple things all together. Last week we spontanously went out to Mt Cootha Botanical Gardens, and had such a lovely time just hanging out together.
While pushing the pram with a three year old who declared he didn't want to walk, I managed to capture a few photos. I noticed quite a few heart shapes in nature - I think I was really looking out for them, inspired by Pia's My Heart Wanders project.
We also went along a few streets that, while only around the block from our house (where I have lived for ten or so years!), that I have never explored before. It made me realise that while I keep pining for a new home and location, there is still so much to offer me here.
On other thought tangents :: I have been feeling quiet (deep within myself) this week. This is the year I turn 30 (23rd of May, for those of you slightly interested), and I have been thinking of the things I had anticipated having "achieved" before this milestone approached. Mainly, I actually really don't have exact goals for times, that sort of thing. I guess now that I get to this stage, things are roaming into my mind.
I guess a big thing for me is my lack of real true and deep friendships. I have always been so close to my family - being not just connected through being related, but also through actually enjoying each other's company. Yet, there are many times when I wish I had friends who wanted to be my friend as much as me. I have spent lots of times throughout my life having hopes about how a friendship will turn out. I know that I'm not the most social, getting out there person, I enjoy being in smaller groups. But, I still make efforts to get to know people and see them regularly. It seems that it takes so much effort to actually make friends :: sometimes I wonder if the effort on my side shows that the friendship isn't really reciprecated. Maybe I should remember the lessons I should have learnt during high-school!
Sometimes my heart just aches that I don't have a close circle of dear friends who want to be with me, who appreciate me for who I am, what I do, how I am.