We are very lucky that all our babes are quite similar in age - ranging from age seven to (almost) 5 months. So, all the cousins will be able to grow up together. And us siblings cherish the moments we have with each other, as well as watching the moments they have together.

I suppose loosing your mother makes you really appreciate family and loved ones that little bit more. And knowing that those times together are so precious - work doesn't matter when you can have a laugh and play with people who you love!

I've been thinking about going back to work for one day a week. It's retail - fashion - and very lovely and fun, a good chance to 'dress up' and all that, but then I don't want to miss out on any moments with my babes. And, I don't think that Mish (or myself, to tell the truth) are ready for expressing breastmilk and learning how to drink from a bottle (for her) and have someone else feed my babe (for me). I guess I feel very jealous at the thought of someone else giving my little one that nourishment - even if it is Sam. That is a bond I have with Mish alone. But, then, I am also so ready to have my own moments of space and time. I feel its happened so much quicker (this needing quiet, alone time) this time around (my second baby), than with Ari. This NEED to have thinking time. Of course, there is such a constantness with two babies - children, that I never anticpated. I know I am so very lucky to have two 'easy' babies, but they are still little ones with needs, and I'm a bigger one with some needs that I can't put off all the time.

Yet - this is the eternal mothering dilema. Or, actually not really eternal. As not so long ago - and currently still in so many cultures - babies and children and daily life are all so much more integrative. Rather than 'work' and 'home' life. Why don't I live in a clan, or at least some form of close-knit community?

This post was eventually published 7th January, 2008. I did not/have not gone out into the workforce. I continue to enjoy the aspects of being an at home mum to my little ones. Though I feel that this is the year for me to make an at home business/work.