always seeking simplicity
Life has been crazy lately. I know I keep saying, or at least I feel like I keep saying this. Ahh. It's a whirlwind of all things all the time. All my stupid talk of breathing and slow living and intentional - it seems beyond useless when the everyday reality is doing the school run, spending all morning feeding Bubba at nap time, washing the dishes and then thinking about what food we need takes up all the brain power I have. I have no more space. I'm like those horses you see with blinkered headpieces on, where I can't see beyond my nose, can't think past this single one day's events or activities. How can I plan what I'm doing next week when I barely even get through one whole day with any focus or thought power left over.
Coming up to these last weeks of school, and the lead up to what ends up being the busy hectic stressful time of year I'm re-thinking lots of things. How my days drift away, pulled mostly by a 2yr old who just wants to play and explore, and have his mama by his side at all times. How it seems I'm in the car more often than not, driving here and there for different events or reasons that I can't barely fathom fit into what I thought I wanted. Not in a bad way, just in the way that you end up tumbling down a different path than planned or even vaguely thought about.
I know a lot of this currently has to do with be mentally and physically exhausted, breastfeeding full time takes so much out of my body. All day all night. He's not drinking as much during the night, but he's still there right beside me asking for me, holding on and needing me 24hrs a day. I know that'll all change soon enough and things slip into a different version of how the new is.
But until then - I'm working out ways to save my sanity, and to make sure I actually get my to-do list in a rational manner, not rushing to deadlines constantly and screaming at my kids because the house is always a mess. Usually I try to do everything all the time; half an hour on the computer while Sam drops the kids at school (and has Bubba in the car with him), or a few minutes here and there while River tries to drag me away… neither of which leads to real thought-processes. Fitting creating work into moments around family.. while sipping coffee before the school rush, or while River is playing for 3 minutes on his own, or in the car while we're driving somewhere. None of this leads to real dedicated creative artistic practice. It's excellent for getting my craft on - oh golly yes, so good to work within the family days… but in terms of artistic personal development it doesn't leave much room.
How do you do it? How do you make it work, fit it all in? Squeeze the extra moments out of the days?
Here's how I'm going to try:
- Set regular days for regular activities - i.e. every Monday is home-duties day
- Narrow down what I work on each week, set structure for my creativeness where I flip and change each moment / each day what I'm working on. One thing per week. Will that work for me and my multipotentialite personality? Probably not. Maybe let's say one 'project' each week.
- Schedule days without the children - a whole day just to myself. To not have to make breakfast, or scurry them out the door, not have to make dinner or think about the time all day long.
- Spend 15 minutes each evening writing my thoughts on the day and my list for the next day.
- Work on simplifying the house and the daily mess that seems to build up.
- Go with the flow….. I must admit I'm fairly good at this generally, but at certain times when I've got lots on my mind it becomes harder - but last week after my daughter's circus class during the weekday we decided a picnic dinner by the river was just what we all needed. Saying "yes" to the right things is sometimes so simple and I forget that.
It's an always journey, I think/feel - there's not final destination… the more simple we become in our daily life the more I long for, aim for, wish for. To bring it down right to the bare minimum of nothing - but is that possible if I'm also actively part of society and those complications (family, friends, school, money…..).
Tell me, if you will - what are you doing to tread your simple path…. how do you navigate the complicated challenging times, the 'unsimple' parts of life…. ??