It's quite a skill :: an art, this juggling thing. I'm slowly, slowly getting better at it. Realising that it takes dedicated practice, as well as skill, humour, motivation + a lot of hard work makes it easier to appreciate the balls synchronising. Rising and falling gracefully. It doesn't happen like that as often as I'd like, but when it does - well, it feels good.

Of course, I'm not running away to join the circus :: we are the circus. My babes are the clowns, the lions, the trapeze rope for me to walk. Mostly they are the coloured balls for me to learn to juggle.

My sister (who has one five year old) asked me the other day how I do it with two kids. She was holding Mish on her hip, trying to put Ari's shoes on, and we were trying to get out the door. Well, sometimes I don't do it very well, but it just keeps happening, so the juggling gets a little smoother each day. Some days all the balls fall and roll under the seats :: I have to crawl around picking up all the pieces.

The days when I just be with the babes, in the moment with them, instead of having all these expectations or thoughts about what I want to get done that day. Well, the simpler days are just that - simpler. We have more fun, less hassles, less whinging :: yelling :: grumpiness. Those are the days when the balls are bright rainbows swinging arcs through the air. Those are the days I love. And, juggling is about having fun - you just do the ::hard:: practice to get to the fun part. Same, really as having my babes. I just want to be with them, and have the fun - and let the pther parts just be happening in the background. Each day, I suppose I get a little closer to this aim of learning to just be with them.

The most fun and giggles we've had in the past weeks has been doing the little things that just happen. Making the beds, we play Lanternfish in caves. Hiding under the doona and whispering, with two little ones who giggle and laugh at the silliness of it. Peek-a-boo is a new game for Mishi and still a favourite for Ari - watching them both interact in this simplest of games is such a pleasure.

Spray bottles (only about $1.49 from the supermarket) filled with water and food dye make great painting. We pegged paper onto the little line, and have spent the last few days making masterpieces and lots of water fireworks spraying into the air.

And setting up our own little band in the backyard, with plastic spoons, cardboard tubes.

This post was finally published 7th January, 2008. Of course I still can't juggle. In fact, I think each day I add more balls or flying knives, and include jumps and other tricks into the performance as well. I'm sure it's me, not the little ones who complicate it all so much!