things that made me think of my mama : hand made paper

This past month I’ve been making paper. Using leaves from my garden and a hand made deckle & mold. And while I’ve had my hands immersed in the cold leafy-paper pulp, and forming rough – yet extremely beautiful – looking pieces of paper I’ve been thinking of my mama.

And that’s a good thing. For those of you who don’t know, my mama is no longer around. (I wrote on my old blog about her if you want to read : they’re good words to read, but also emotional). So of course I like to think about her. After this many years it’s still bittersweet memories.

But also after all these years I’ve learned that things that make me think of my mama are good things. The more I delve into being an artist, and developing & practicing my craft the more I feel deeply connected to that aspect of who my mother was – or who I thought she was. Probably different people; the person she thought she was and the person I thought she was. As a mother now, I know that to be a fact – my kids don’t know the full whole me. One day they might; I do feel sad I didn’t get to have that time with my mother to know or experience that.

Spending time making things with my hands gives me that. Or at least an aspect of that.

So, here I was messy papery-leafy-ness around me, these sheets of paper being formed under my hands and joyful thoughts of my many-years-dead mother. {I don’t go in for sugaring things over…. death is death}. And it got me thinking about how important it is in our lives to do things that connect us to people who we love.

These papery leaves are perfect for writing love letters – I’m going to write some to myself, to my memories of my mama, to my future grandchildren……. I’ve long had a book in my head called ‘letters to my mother’ – giving myself permission to use special objects to write close-to-my-heart words.

Who would you write to? What would you write?

You can make your own paper in my new online course, or even hand sew it into a special magical book in my bookmaking course.

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